We’re back with the gang on Bald Mountain. As our intrepid heroes near the summit, MC sees something resembling a large black vortex. When MC asks Nick if he knows what this vortex could be, all he says is that it strikes him as “frightful”… the word he’s used to describe the nameless calamity he’s been waiting for. The group asks MC what Nick is saying (since they can’t hear him) and she relays his message. Skeletiano agrees that it’s frightful. In fact, he shakes so much that his ribs start flying out. After J.J. points out he’s losing parts, it only gets worse and he falls apart completely.
Skeletiano smoothly reassembles himself, and Nick can’t help but admire his talent. “Yes,” MC agrees, “He’s quite skilled.” 
J.J. decides to whip out some inventions to help them deal with the vortex, and he questions whether to use defensive or offensive-type contraptions. Orlando chimes in unnecessarily to say he doesn’t care which one J.J. chooses as long as he stops debating over it. Yes, because he’s being super helpful and has lots of room to talk. [Drinking game hit: Orlando’s an asshole.] MC notes that the swirl is growing larger… or is it drawing closer? The second she points it out, the vortex beelines for them. Welp!
J.J.’s on the case, though, and takes out a… snowman machine? It shoots snowmen. I’m not making this up.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
MC can’t help but think about how cute the weapon is as she watches it fail spectacularly. All the snowmen are sucked into the vortex and J.J. is at a loss, saying that this was the most destructive invention in his lab. 
Everyone’s a bit flabbergasted but Orlando is meanest about it, asking if THIS is what he spends all his time in the lab for. Okay, so J.J. might deserve a stern royal scientist performance review but SERIOUSLY WHAT HAVE YOU CONTRIBUTED TO THIS OPERATION LATELY ORLANDO [Drinking game hit.]
The vortex draws closer, and Orlando calls J.J.’s collection of inventions a “junk heap.” [Three drinking game hits so far and he’s the cause of every one of ’em. I hate this man so much.] J.J. is understandably insulted, and as they bicker Nick decides that they should probably be running instead of arguing. He says that this vortex doesn’t belong in Niflheim and that it will consume the whole land. He urges MC to relay this message to the others, and as Orlando acts like a dick about that too [SERIOUSLY? *drink*] the vortex covers them.
J.J. wants to try more inventions, but Nick reasserts that everyone just needs to gtfo. When MC attempts to run, she finds that she can’t move her legs. Her panic is only intensified by the sudden sound of a voice coming from the void: “Nick… you must live in our land.”
The vortex engulfs Nick entirely, and MC is terrified and wondering how the vortex knows his name. “You do not belong in this land,” the vortex says. Nick shouts that he wants to stay in Niflheim, and a sudden light flashes over him and appears to push back the vortex. He screams that everyone needs to take this time to run, but Skeletiano’s thrown his hip… Literally. His hipbone is on the ground. Orlando is an ass about things again. [Am I just going to have to drink every time he talks?] J.J. reassembles Skeletiano, and the group runs away as fast as they can.
Once they’re out of dodge, Nick apologizes to MC. She’s confused about why he’d be apologizing, but the group distracts her by debating the nature of the vortex. The vortex is gone, in any case. Orlando points out that they never actually got to see the large hole (that wasn’t it?!) and asks MC if she wants to go back. We get the choice to say we want to climb Bald Mountain or bow out, and I am bowing out because forget this the-void-looks-back-at-you crap. I have tea to drink and a dumbass king to avoid marrying.
Nick realizes MC’s choice to bow out is largely for his good, and he’s touched. Skeletiano mentions that he’s drained, and Orlando says that shaking in place must be quite exhausting. Okay, again. Orlando did… what exactly other than stand there and snark? Nothing. He’s a useless scumpile. [Drinking game hit.]
Nick suddenly says that HE summoned the vortex. Wizzy what? Orlando wants to know what Nick said, and MC covers it up by saying he’s just being negative. Nick keeps apologizing anyway. (Aside: He is being negative here but it seems to be pretty grounded in reality, so I don’t really count it as a drinking game hit.) Skeletiano calls Nick “Nicky” by accident, and Orlando asks if his lack of a brain means he can’t even memorize a four-letter name. 
That’s it. I have a better use for this drink.
MC and Nick go back to the castle and settle into their room, and MC decides that this is a time for hot chocolate. Bless. Apparently in Niflheim you combine purple chocolate with bat milk, and it’s quite soothing. Nick is visibly calmed by this hot chocolate. I’m less calm because I can’t stop picturing the underpaid workers of Niflheim milking bats.
I get it, Nick. The day I first had phở I was like, “Would I ever have experienced pain or sadness if I had known this existed? Probably not.”
Nick decides to elaborate on his ideas on the vortex. He’s visibly rattled as he recounts his story. Since he was all alone before he met MC, he was lonely and bored and mostly just slept a lot. Every time he dreamt, it was the same… him, alone in a great darkness. Eventually, though, he felt someone else was there. He couldn’t see or communicate with them, and they were simply trapped together. One day, a light shone into that darkness… and he took that moment to try and escape. When he awoke he was on Bone Mountain, swinging on his swingset. The vortex, he says, is that exact darkness. It’s coming to try and get him back. At this point he’s frantic, waving his hands and accidentally breaking his hot cocoa cup. (Full disclosure: I adore mugs and teacups and I was visibly upset reading this. Not the cup! 
)
He flails and panics, shouting that he doesn’t want to be trapped in the darkness by himself again. MC tries her best to calm him, but he insists he’s going to be trapped again. Suddenly he stands and declares that perhaps it’s best if it swallows him, and that she never should have met him. [Okay, that one’s a drinking game hit.]
He starts trying to climb out the window. 
MC throws her arms around him to stop him. His eyes are hollow and strange, and MC feels like something odd is afoot. We get the option to hug him or yell at him, and I chose to hug because yelling seems unproductive in this situation. MC reminds him that he isn’t alone anymore and holds him until he calms down, finally looking at her as if he’s returned to normal. MC is relieved, but still feels a bit unsettled.
END OF CHAPTER 5.
Chapter thoughts: I just want Orlando to get eaten by a roaming pack of skeletal birds.
Drinks consumed: 1 bottle of Angry Orchard hard cider, consumed entirely in sips. I’m really glad I chose to make Orlando being an asshole a 1-sip scenario, because I’d have alcohol poisoning right now if I didn’t.